I need a makeover!
From one generation to the next
When I was a preteen (a tween in today’s speak) I used to stretch out on my back, stare at the ceiling and try to fall asleep. But the pains running up my leg, would make it impossible.
“You’re having growing pains,” my mom would say as she massaged my muscles. Finally, I would drift off into dreams where I wasn’t the shortest person in the room or the last one picked to play on a basketball team.
I didn’t feel any taller the next day or the day after or the day after that. …
Since joining Medium in 2019
My top earning story is What I learned Loving My Husband’s Best Friend.
This story has 3K views and has earned $86.36
Next is The Other Female In Our Bed with 1.7 views, which has earned $65.24
And Eight Hours rounds out my top 3 with 1.5 views to date and earnings of $30.50
My take away from this review is that all three stories were curated, back when curation was a thing. But more importantly, they all dealt with relationships and the human condition.
Still, I love write humorous pieces and will continue to do so. …
HUMOR
My daily journal
A glance at my daily journal before and during Covid. I plan on going back in time as soon as possible.
Before the Coronavirus — BC
6:30 am — It’s Monday. I wake up, look at the clock. I have a half-hour to get dressed and start my Gruber job. I set out breakfast for my husband and walk into the chilly morning to get my grandchildren.
During Coronavirus — DC
6:30 am — What day is it? I roll back over and cover my head with the blanket.
BC
7:45 am — I’m Grubering. I drop my grandson off at his school and head for the bagel shop with my granddaughter. …
The Only Word For 2020
It’s time again,
To choose a word.
Something familiar,
Or one newly heard.
For 2020,
I’m just not sure,
March to December,
Was quite a BLUR.
Our new attire,
Includes a MASK.
Using HAND SANITIZER,
Is an hourly task.
We SOCIAL DISTANCE,
Apart SIX FEET,
And we ELBOW BUMP,
The friends we greet.
There is INSANE,
And her cousin CRAZY.
While in QUARANTINE,
The days grew HAZY.
An ANXIOUS CALM,
An ELECTION spin.
A brand new CRAFT
,Those words could win.
CORONA’s up front,
Taking the race.
Often PANDEMIC,
Steps into her place.
Then there is NEGATIVE,
TESTING and FEAR.
And nowadays POSITIVE,
Is not welcome here. …
HUMOR
Compliments of 2020
’Tis the season of lists. Top ten books, favorite movies, best essays, photographs, restaurants, and so on. But 2020 was anything but normal thus I present a new list of Best topics. Feel free to provide me with your answers.
1.The best homemade hand sanitizer.
2. The best bleach for curing Covid.
3. The best Covid Conspiracy.
4. The best handmade mask.
5. The best off-rhythm generational TikTok dance performance.
6. The best tone-deaf generational TikTok song.
7. The top ten foods to consume while binge-watching Tiger King.
8. The best elbow bump.
9. The best bathroom scene witnessed on Zoom. …
Confusing and hard to understand
According to Forrest Gump’s momma, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
A famous song from the 1930s suggested that “Life is just a bowl of cherries.” Which prompted the beloved Erma Bombeck to question why she was in the pits?
Well, I’d like to add two cents to these observations by saying: Life is like a text message. You can never really understand its meaning.
How many times have you a received a text, only to ponder over what the sender meant?
And I’m not just referring to the acronyms, although those are quite confusing in themselves. …
HUMOR
Where we talk books, bling and binging on latkes
I had the privilege of meeting Mrs. Claus at the Red Nose Saloon last week. She snuck out for a hot toddy and a plate of latkes while the man of the hour took his third nap of the day.
We sat on bar stools in front of a blazing fire. Between sending text messages and fielding emergencies in the workshop, Mrs. Claus answered my questions about the challenges and benefits of this year’s Christmas Season.
Me: So, tell me Mrs. C, with your computer skills, did you teach your husband how to Zoom?
Mrs. C: You know I did. He still forgets to mute when passing gas. And I’ve told him a million times to turn off the video when changing into his Depends for those long sessions. …
HUMOR
But it keeps me in balance
I’ve been thinking about Pet peeves. With COVID and all, my mind tends to wander from thought to thought rather quickly. But this Pet Peeve thing occupied me for several hours.
Why is it called a Pet Peeve?
A pet is usually a dog, cat, bird, pig, our non-human family members who we love to death. A peeve is something that irritates us.
How do these two words come to live side by side?
My thought, and I’m no Aristotle, is simple. Our brains work like a card catalog, shuffling people, places and things into “likes” and “dislikes.” …
Why we love to watch them
Several years ago an unfamiliar spirit invaded my body, making decisions and controlling my evening entertainment options. And no matter how hard I tried to fight the feeling, it persisted until I gave in. Until I picked up the remote control and voila!
There I was, curled up on the couch, under a blanket, watching something I never thought I would enjoy — a Hallmark Holiday Movie.
And ever since then, I’ve been hooked.
This year I’ve already seen over a dozen movies and it’s not even December yet! At two hours per film, this equates to a day’s worth of time, watching the snow fall on small town America while Christmas lights twinkle and lovers finally fall into each other’s arms. …
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